Jo Cunningham: Pet Hates, Gebunden

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'Imagine if we can show that obsessional pet ownership actually increases mortality,' said Tim. 'It will disrupt the actuarial world - murder, passion, pets. It's got everything! Una, you can go undercover.'

Una had a department-wide reputation for risk assessment, but she had underestimated the potential perils of the Balham International Cat Show. She stood up, glared at Tim, and checked the live video feed of Pedro, a scruffy bruiser of a cat, now at her kitchen window pawing to get outside at the birds. Beware of the cat indeed.

Or, should that be, beware of the cat owner?